The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
