I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize