if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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