whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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