I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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