I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
