You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
