Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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