if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
