he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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