i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
