I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
