I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize