My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
