Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize