I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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