The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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