# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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