this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
