btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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