Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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