i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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