I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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