i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
