I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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