I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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