Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
