I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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