I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
