I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
