I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
its liver damage thursday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
