What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
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We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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