The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
