As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize