I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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