whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
