I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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