The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
