We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize