I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
