I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
