margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
