if i can run in heels then i can drive
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
