I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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