Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
