hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to calm my uterus...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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