Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
