Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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