I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
