This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
