I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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