YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
