She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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