Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
True strength comes from lack of pants
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize