Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
