McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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