hotel room ftw
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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