they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
