My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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