If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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